Snow who? This is snow time for telling Christmas jokes.Ĭhristmas puns and one-liners Louise Beaumont / Getty Images Water who? Water you askin’ Santa for Christmas? Allie who? Allie want for Christmas is you. Needle who? Needle money for Christmas shopping. Ken who? Ken you help me decorate the Christmas tree? Norma Lee? Norma Lee we have ham on Christmas. Donut who? Donut open the presents until Christmas. Sandy who? Sandy Claus is coming to town. Snow who? Snow one’s better than you are! What do you call a snowman with no arms or legs? A snowball.Where do you find reindeer? I dunno, depends on where you left them.Why don’t mountains get cold in the winter? They have snowcaps.What did one snowman say to the other? You’re cool.What do you call festive ducks? Christmas quackers.How can you tell if a snowman doesn’t like you? He gives you the cold shoulder.What does Santa eat for breakfast? Mistle-toast.What did the cop say when he a snowman stealing? Freeze!.What did Santa do when his sleigh broke down? He got it mistle-toed.What do you call Santa’s helpers? Subordinate Clauses.Where do reindeer go if they lose a tail? The retail store.Which of Santa’s reindeer has bad manners? Rude-olph.How much did Santa pay for his sleigh? Nothing.What did the salt say to the pepper on Christmas? Seasonings greetings!.

Why do birds fly south for Christmas? It’s too far to walk.What should you expect at the end of Christmas Day? The letter Y.Who says “Oh, oh, oh?” Santa Claus walking backward.What did one angel say to the other? Halo there!.Where does Santa stay on vacation? At a ho-ho-ho-tel.What kind of salad do they serve at the North Pole? Iceberg lettuce.Why does Santa use GPS? He doesn’t want to be a lost Claus.What does Santa use to clean his sleigh? Comet.How do you wish a dog Merry Christmas? Feliz Navi-dog.What did one Christmas tree say to the other? I’m feelin’ pine.Ĭhristmas dad jokes Elizabethsalleebauer / Getty Images/RooM RF.Did you hear about Rudolph’s rollercoaster ride? He held on for deer life.Claus name their daughter? Mary Christmas. What did one of Santa’s helpers say to the other? Let’s take an elfie.Why do reindeer wear bells? Their horns don’t work.Why is Santa so good at karate? He’s got a black belt.

Why don’t Christmas trees knit? They keeping dropping their needles.Where do gingerbread men sleep? On cookie sheets.Did you hear about the anxious snowman? He needed to chill out.What kind of music do elves listen to? Wrap music.What do you call a two-legged reindeer? Eileen.Who’s the snowman’s favorite rapper? Ice Cube.

Did you hear about the angry snowman? It had a meltdown.

Where does Santa store his suit? In his Claus-et.

What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Frosted flakes.

Did you hear about the snowman prom? It was a snowball.

What did one snowman say to the other? You smell carrots, too?.

So, settle in with your Christmas cocktail of choice and get ready to giggle all the way.įunny Christmas jokes for kids and adults That way, kids and adults will have something to chuckle from morning to night. Since you made the nice list this year - ours, at least - we also threw in a few Christmas knock-knock jokes for good measure.

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